Once upon a time there was a diabetic musician who entered the pizza shop aspiring to Fettucine Boscaiola.This was our solution to his dilemma.
Said musician (actually it was Paul Goodchild, who plays trumpet in the SSO) also favoured chilli and garlic. So, what happens when you make boscaiola without cream, but with chilli and garlic? Enter (accompanied by tomato, stage left) Muso’s Pasta.
First, plant your chilli bush… oh okay, buy the bloody things if you must. I use about three quarters of a habanera (those are the lantern-shaped orange ones) but birds’ eyes also work well; know thy chillis and thine own tolerance before deciding how much, and what variety, to use. I like it pretty hot.
(Um, it also tastes okay with no chilli, but don’t tell the True Believers I told you.)
Okay. Chop up a handful of bacon per person, the same of onion, the same of mushroom. Throw into frypan with a little olive oil and a heaped tablespoon of garlic per person, plus a quarter of a teaspoon of good chilli paste or the quantity of fresh chopped chilli that you’ve decided is worth risking. Stir well.
Yes, you DO need that much garlic. No, this is NOT the recipe to use before a job interview (unless you wish to stay on the dole), or before going to the dentist (unless you like having your gums drilled by mistake).
Cook over medium heat until it looks kinda done. Meanwhile, cook enough fettucine or large shells or spiral pasta for the number you’re feeding; slightly underdone is best. PS I never add oil to the water, just salt; oil coats the pasta and prevents it sticking together, but it also prevents the sauce from sticking to the pasta later. Don’t be a lazy cow, just stir the bloody pasta now and then, okay?
Back to the frypan. Add half a large can of crushed tomato per person, plus a good teaspoonful each of oregano and basil, plenty of cracked black pepper and a pinch of salt, plus a teaspoon of sugar. Yeah, all that’s per person.
Leave it simmering gently till the pasta’s done, then stir the pasta through the sauce and leave to simmer until you’re ready to eat.
Garnish with lots of shaved parmesan and chopped parsley. You’ll probably find you’ve more than enough to feed everyone; it reheats well, so huzzah, as my son would say.
Eat. Drink milky substance if you added too much chilli. Then go breathe on your enemies.